Tell me something beautiful

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 16:57:48 GMT

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090310/ap_on_re_us/cave_home

ST. LOUIS – An eastern Missouri family expects they'll be able to stay in their home built inside a cave after accepting an offer of a private mortgage contract. Curt Sleeper said Tuesday that a New Jersey-based business offered a 15-year loan with a low interest rate that should allow the family to keep their home in Festus, about 30 miles south of St. Louis.

"We're excited about it." To celebrate: "We're throwing a party at a friend's cave," he said.

DO WANT

Creationist time paradox

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 13:17:37 GMT

An idea:

Way off in the future, time travel has been invented. Some wag decides to try and steal a dinosaur skeleton from a museum, gets caught, and in a panic travels to the distant past - and buries the skeleton there. Which is then uncovered, examined, analysed, and eventually winds up in the museum from which it will be stolen.

Thus, dinosaurs are not real, but are in fact the product of a temporal anomaly, with their apparent age the product of a constant looping through time. This proves that evolution is wrong and quantum physics is of the devil.

...

I should so work for the Discovery Institute.

In other news, I'm still alive, life is still dull, the world continues much as it ever has.

Sat, 06 Dec 2008 12:07:02 GMT

solar powered vibrator from Libida

Integrate alternative energy technology into the bedroom with what may be the first solar-powered vibrator.

The Solar Sensation vibrator will charge in sunlight (5hrs) and artificial light (100w bulb 24hrs). It has three speeds and it will run 2.5 hours on a full charge (if you should last that long). A great way for avid users of vibrators to save tons of batteries while putting a smile on their faces.

Touch yourself, not the planet?

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 16:47:38 GMT

"grampa? hands. srsly."

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 09:19:06 GMT

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 20:25:04 GMT

I'm not yet ready to put any kind of faith behind Obama.

However. After too many years smugness, preaching and fundamentalist shit:

FUCK YOU REPUBLICANS

California man arrested in 'anthrax' mailings

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 06:21:31 GMT

California man arrested in 'anthrax' mailings

SAN FRANCISCO, California (AP) -- A California man was arrested Wednesday on suspicion of sending hoax letters labeled "anthrax" to scores of media outlets, the FBI said Wednesday, warning that many of the threats may still be in the mail.

Marc M. Keyser, 66, sent more than 120 envelopes containing a compact disc that had a packet of sugar labeled "Anthrax Sample" along with a biohazard symbol, the FBI said in a news release. The CD was titled "Anthrax: Shock & Awe Terror."

Keyser was taken into custody without incident at his home in Sacramento on three counts of sending a hoax letter, the FBI said. At least some of the packages had Keyser's return address on them, said FBI agent Steve Dupre.

There's fail.
Then there's epic fail.
Then there's this guy.

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:23:46 GMT

Homosexuals should carry warning tattoos, says chaplain

The Rev Dr Peter Mullen, who is rector of St Michael’s Cornhill and St Sepulchre without Newgate in the City, said in an internet blog that homosexuality was "clearly unnatural, a perversion and corruption of natural instincts and affections, and because it is a cause of fatal disease".

He wrote: "Let us make it obligatory for homosexuals to have their backsides tattooed with the slogan SODOMY CAN SERIOUSLY DAMAGE YOUR HEALTH and their chins with FELLATIO KILLS."

The Bishop of London, the Rt Rev Richard Chartres, said the posting, which has since been taken down, was "highly offensive". The Rev Mullen, 66, was told on Friday that he could face disciplinary action.

Peter Tatchell of gay rights group OutRage! said he should resign.

The rector, who has written for The Daily Telegraph, insisted that he meant no harm: "I wrote some satirical things on my blog and anybody with an ounce of sense of humour or any understanding of the tradition of English satire would immediately assume that they’re light-hearted jokes."

Mr Mullen is also listed as the chaplain to the London Stock Exchange. However, an LSE spokesman said it was a historical title. "There are no formal links between us and him in any way."

*facepalm*

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 19:28:53 GMT

Frankie Boyle is a regular on Mock the Week and a very funny, very wrong man.

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 12:54:51 GMT

I has internets!

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 16:46:36 GMT

pwned.

(apologies for recent absence; having internet problems at home. expensive internet cafes are expensive.)

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 08:18:32 GMT

Today is my birthday.

Other things that happened:

1614: death of Elizabeth Bathory.

1831: slave rebellion in the US lead by Nat Turner.

1888: William Seward Burroughs patents an adding machine.

1940: death of Leon Trotsky.

1968: Soviet troops invade Czechoslovakia.

2007: death of Haley Paige, porn star.

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 03:57:02 GMT

I am in something of a state of shock. Yesterday I started having problems with my computer - it would load up, tell me it was waiting to complete installing updates, freeze, reboot, repeat.

Today I tried to use the inbuilt repair system from the people I got the computer from. And unlike every other inbuilt repair system I've ever used...

It worked.

(It was some folks called The Tech Guys, if you're interested. They were prompt in helping out when I had hardware problems last year also. They're like tech support, but they actually fix stuff.)

Fucking banks

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 10:08:27 GMT

Dear Banking Folks,

I realise that, when sending a PIN out to customers, security is a major concern. I appreciate having measures in place to prevent it from being read by random strangers with malevolent intent.

However, doing so in a way that makes it actually illegible is perhaps a step too far.

On a related note, if your machines are going to lock up your account after incorrectly entering said pin a number of times, they could at least have the decency to offer a warning first.

Yours,

Disgruntled.

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 11:54:58 GMT

Does the American flag belong in church?

New York - I've attended church weekly all my life, and virtually every congregation with whom I've worshipped displays an American flag. It often stands close to the communion table, probably a church's most sacred spot. Some denominations even recite the Pledge of Allegiance – multiple times. One church I visited in the Midwest began Sunday School with the Pledge but apparently lacked faith it would stick. We interrupted morning worship with another recitation.

All in all, American Christians seem as devoted to their government as Ruth was to Naomi. But should they be? Do either the flag or the Pledge have any place in the Lord's house? Is congregational commitment to the republic for which these emblems stand consistent with Biblical Christianity? Is political power?

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 08:59:59 GMT

The building this is painted on is probably going to be demolished soon, so I decided to get the photo while I could. It makes my happy happen.

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 09:46:24 GMT

Teach the Controversy t-shirts are now available.

DO WANT

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 10:42:05 GMT

Get rich quick scheme #384: Uniquorn.

(Tastes just like the real thing or your money back!)

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 16:09:38 GMT

http://www.channel4.com/news/articles/politics/international_politics/police+doctors+guilty+of+mistreating+genoa+g8+protestors+in+2001/2339577

Police, doctors guilty of mistreating Genoa G8 protestors in 2001

Last night senior police, prison officers and two doctors were convicted of mistreating protestors at Genoa's G8 Summit seven years ago, More4 News reports.

It is a case that has shocked Italy. Extreme violence on the streets of Genoa marked that year's G8 meeting.

The violence came in part from a fringe of the anti-globalisation protestors but largely it came from the Italian police.

Girish Juneja follows the story.

Video in article.

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 11:24:41 GMT

Vatican 'regrets' female bishops decision

(CNN) -- The Vatican said Tuesday it regrets the decision by the Church of England's governing body to allow the ordination of women as bishops.
General view of the Synod Assembly Chamber during the General Synod Session.

General view of the Synod Assembly Chamber during the General Synod Session.

The move by the Anglican Church's General Synod "is a rift to the apostolic tradition" of ordaining only men as bishops, the Vatican said in a statement, and is another obstacle to reconciliation between Anglicans and Roman Catholics.

"This decision will have consequences on the dialogue which had brought good fruits," the Vatican statement said.

The General Synod passed a resolution Monday night that allows women to become bishops, acting over the objections of traditionalists who argued that Jesus only wanted men in leadership positions.

Some traditionalists have threatened to abandon the Anglican Church for the Roman Catholic Church if women become bishops. Several hundred Anglican priests made that move when women were first ordained 16 years ago.

...ugh.

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 14:03:19 GMT

Man caught having sex with table gets 6 months

BELLEVUE, OH -- Police say a man was arrested after admitting to, and being caught on DVD having sex with his picnic table repeatedly.

Investigators say they received a tip that Art Price Jr., 40, of 146 Brinker St. in Bellevue was having sex with a picnic table while outside on the deck. The incidents occurred between January and March 2008.

Police say on March 13, the tipster dropped off three DVDs which showed Price in the act. On four occasions, Price is seen naked and masturbating in the rear room near the open doorway; he then comes out to the deck. He tilts the metal round picnic table on its side and lays up against it and has sexual intercourse with the table. Afterwards he cleans the table and the deck.

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 18:55:04 GMT

The war on photographers - you're all al Qaeda suspects now

Analysis When you hear the phrase "helping police with their inquiries", does an image of dedicated selfless citizenry instantly spring to mind? Or do you wonder whether the reality is not slightly more sinister?

How about "voluntarily handing over film to the police".

Stephen Carroll is a keen amateur photographer, with an interest in candid portraiture: "street photography", he calls it. In December 2007, he was in the centre of Hull taking photos.

Unfortunately for him, his actions were spotted by two local policemen. They stopped him in the middle of Boots and asked him to accompany them outside. There they told him that he had been taking photographs of "sensitive buildings". One said: "I am taking your film".

Mr Carroll requested an explanation. He asked whether he was "obligated" to hand over the film. In vain! Every time he asked, back came the same response: "I am taking your film". Robocop is alive and well and apparently working in Humberside.

When he eventually handed over his film, he was asked to turn out his pockets and to show what other films he had on him.
Your rights - click here for a point and shoot guide

The police filled out one of their ubiquitous forms – this one labelled "Stop and Search" – and went on their way. On the form, quite clearly written, are the words: "seized films".

What are we to make of this? A statement from Humberside Police re-iterated that Mr Carroll had been photographing sensitive buildings. In remarkably bullish mood, they added that they "would expect other officers within the force to act in the same manner if given a similar situation."

But what situation?

Related video:

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 13:45:46 GMT

Psychic's vision sets off sex-abuse probe

A Barrie mother of an autistic girl is considering legal action against her local school board after a psychic's prediction to a special educational assistant sparked a sexual abuse report to the Children's Aid Society.

"I'm in shock," said Colleen Leduc, 38. "They reported me to Children's Aid because of a psychic. Can you imagine?"

The damaging allegations were resolved by child welfare authorities relatively quickly, but the case highlights the difficult and sometimes clumsy outcome of zero-tolerance policies and mandatory reporting regulations regarding child sexual abuse.

The ordeal for Ms. Leduc began on Friday, May 30.

When she picked up her 11-year-old daughter, Victoria, at Terry Fox Elementary School that afternoon, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, she said. Victoria was one of six children with autism enrolled in a special education class that is supervised by a teacher and four educational assistants (EAs).

Shortly after arriving home, Ms. Leduc received a phone call from Victoria's teacher.

"The teacher said you have to come back to school right away -- it's urgent. My heart was racing," said Ms. Leduc, who went back to the school and met with the teacher, vice-principal and principal.

"The teacher looked at me and said: 'We have to tell you something. We have to tell you that Victoria's EA went to see a psychic and the psychic asked her if she works with a little girl with the initial V. When the EA said yes, the psychic said, 'Well, you need to know that this girl is being sexually abused by a man between the ages of 23 and 26.'"

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 07:44:50 GMT

Something I noticed about Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes (my new fixation):

- As referenced in his wikipedia biography, Sam was born in 1969.
- In the series 2 finale of Life on Mars, Sam states he was in a coach crash when he was 12. This would have happened in 1981.
- In Ashes to Ashes, Alex Drake was shot and woke up in...1981.

Hmm.

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 06:49:46 GMT

Further to the previous post:

Part of why I love Robert Rankin is because of things like this (from an interview by the British Fantasy Society):

“I work with alternative ideas. Take the asteroid belt. According to mathematical principal, there should be a planet there, but there isn’t enough matter, there’s enough for a planet the size of the Isle of Wight or something, but there is a basic imbalance in the fact and the theory. Sometimes it’s pure facts. For example, if Elvis Presley hadn’t taken the draft then an entire generation of kids would have refused to go to Vietnam. It’s true and it was known at the time, which was why Presley was encouraged to join up. You could therefore change the whole of World history by travelling back in time and making him not join up. All these things are there, and are alternatives to reality.”

I wondered how the theory of stopping Elvis Presley from joining the army squared with the idea of a time-travelling talking brussels sprout called Barry ...

“Okay. I had an old Frank Zappa album, the fourth one, ‘Lumpy Gravy’, and it starts off with the spoken words: ‘The way I see it, Barry, this could be a dynamite show.’ And I always wanted to use that line in something, and also to have a character called Barry. I don't know how he appeared. I think it was something to do with the fact that I was writing about a planet where everything grew: televisions, tables, people ... and everything was vegetable-orientated. If you're going to travel back through time as a talking vegetable, then it’s got to be a brussels sprout, hasn’t it. It just has.”

“All this on top of the fact that I can’t stand brussels sprouts. I just have to see one to make me feel sick because they were forced down me as a kid. When Transworld promoted the book, they sent out brussels sprouts as a gimmick. When I got mine I thought it was a present from my publisher ... imagine my face when I opened the box ... They sent out cabbages for another book. Kind of like giant brussels sprouts. My publishers are great like that ... sending vegetables to torment journalists.”

(Note: he is discussing Armageddon: The Musical here.)